Tried to get up early today... it is just so hard this time of year. Who am I kidding I am really not a morning person. It gets even harder here in the fall when the day light hours decrease so much. I am fully await that I have suffered from SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder) in the past. This year I am trying very hard to head that off by getting into a routine of physical activity, eating good nutritious food and making myself get up in the morning and being productive.
I had a very fun day with my nephew and Mom yesterday. My Nephew is just over 2 years old and is a total sweet heart. I truly do love spending time with him. But every once and awhile after our visit my heart aches for the things I thought I would have at this point in my life. I am 30 years old, single and childless. At these moments I need to remember all the great things I DO have in my life, a great job, a home that I own, the freedom to travel and the means, I have friends that I know I can count on and love me very much. Everyone just keeps telling me to keep my chin up and when it is meant to happen it will... I am sceptical... but what other choice do I have. At this point in my life being a single mother by choice is not a viable option. (to be honest I am not 100% convinced that is what I would want anyway)
I have to confess I am a little envious of my friends heading on a 3 week vacation. They are the couple I usually travel with all the time.... they are heading on the same trip as last year. In the big picture I know it is best that I am not heading off with them. I wasnt able to get time off from work (#1) financially it wasnt the best choice (#2) and my former "friend/lover/whoknows" musician certainly be encountered during this vacation.... better not to cross that bridge again....
As for my physical transformation (since that was the original purpose of thise blog) I have been struggling with a few things recently- I had reached my lowest weigth when I got back from vacation in Bermuda (yes with the musician) I guess thats what being happy in a relationship does to me - my lowest weight was 233lbs.... I am currenlty 245lbs .... guess that what a few months of doing nothing and emotinal eating (or not-eating anything in some cases) will do..... My body is feeling horrible these days, a lot of inflammation and aches and pains... much like when I was 270+lbs..... I know what I need to do and this last week I have really gotten back on track. I just need to keep that momentum going.
Until Next TIme